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Scott's Crazy Rants
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My name is Captain Scott. Also known as the rouge pirate of the high seas Dread Pirate Read. I'm smart yet vicious and coldly calculating. You all know my life story. I was born in Port Royal and became a pirate at age 12 when i joined the crew of the infamous pirate Edward Teach. I used to man the cannons and blow the shit out of crappy ships, especially french ones. Then one day I was marooned on an island with a monkey and some soap. After a month Elizabeth Hurley washed up, and lucky for me I had the soap so I smelled nice and she loved me. Things didnt work out though, she was against me pirating. I almost gave up pillaging towns to pillage her on a daily basis, but she ran off with the monkey. Women...can't live with them, can't kill them. ARRRRGH.
Although I am in college, I want to go back to pirating. Working is for suckers, its all about plunder. Pirates Drink rum, and this is good. That is why pirates have a historically low number of people die from heart disease. Drink rum, it is good. Yes thats it. HAAAARDE HAR HAR HAR!
I really like going to disneyland as well. It is my most favorite place on earth. I would love to just ride pirates of the caribbean and indiana jones and the haunted mansion over and over, and eat fried sandwiches at the blue bayou. And drink rum of course, being a pirate and all. I would also like to have mad sex on a boat that floats through pirates. Except I would take out all the seats and replace it with a giant matress. I"d be having crazy sex and saying things like "HARRR WHOS YOUR PIRATE" and "ARRR I BE BOUT TO PILLAGE YOUR ORAFICES." It would be so cool. On july the 9th i'll flip out cause i can see my bonnie lace who is so damn hot, and plus shes in a movie about pirates. DAMN LIFE CAN BE GOOD. CAN I GET A HAR HAR ARRRRRRR.
I love Disneyland, Pirates, and Rum. That is all. ARRRRRRRRRRRGH
Oh, and by the way ladies, as I said before me and Liz didn't work out, so I'm happily single.
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